Blog Post #3 Does it Matter that I'm NOT Perfect?

I want to have children.  I might not come across as the type.  I'm rarely in a relationship and can hardly take care of myself let alone a kid someday.  Through all of my teenage years I hated babysitting and never thought I would want to have my own child.  But eventually, about a year ago, I’m 21 now, my maternal instincts kicked in and I did get slightly jealous of the beautiful twin boys my older cousin Jackie brought home from the hospital.  Her four year old daughter looked up at me and asked “Why don’t you have a baby yet?”  “Ahhhh… I have not met that pre-med student I’ve been planning on marrying since declaring a major in English and Theater,” I replied.

That same year I got put on medication to help me stay healthy.  I have to be the medication for the rest of my life, but I can’t be on it when I’m pregnant.  My doctor assured me that I would still be able to have children but I know that the whole experience of having a child for me is going to be very tough.  With this in mind I thought about what the adoption process might be like. 

The part I would be the most nervous for would be the interview with the social worker.  I guess this would be because I have no idea what exactly they would define as a suitable parent.  If a do marry a doctor, live in the suburbs, and plan on being a stay at home mom (no way) am I more likely to get to kid versus if I marry another theater/music freak and live in an apartment? How much of a difference does it make if one of us did not come from the Leave it to Beaver Family?  

I’ve seen the issue in my own parents.  My dad came from an incredibly stable household while my mom didn’t get so lucky.  I’ve seen how it has affected her as an adult.  My mother is a wonderful person but she worries a lot and has her confidence shaken easily.  Bottom line, ff her father had not been abusive she would not have these problems.   I’m sure that is what a social worker wants to protect a child from so I think it is important to ask these questions about family and relationships.   I just hope they do not judge based on previous generations of parenting.  My mom is a good parent. 

While I would want to be honest to a social worker I would worry about how sincere I should be.  What sort of judgments would they make about my family?  What would they think about certain health issues?  Would I need to go on facebook and get rid of all the pictures of the summer I turned 21?  I am not sure, but I would hope that all questions asked are truly meant in the best interests of the child.