1. Blog on your experiences writing your adoption homestudy. Choose several of the following questions to address:
As you work on the home study, think about:
• Are the right questions being asked of you as a prospective parent? If not, which would you add or subtract? Are any questions simply puzzling—if so, which ones and why??
I wasn't really puzzled by any of the questions. I can see how they would all apply to being a good example and a healthy parent. What I think could be added however is a situational component. For instance, give them a difficult situation that they might someday experience with their son or daughter and ask how they would respond to it. Does it line up with the other areas of the survey, like the discipline section? It's easy to describe yourself as an ideal person on paper but coming up with a good solution to a possible issue is a better measure in my mind, to at least see if there is anything fundamentally wrong with the answer or to see if there are any discrepancies between that and how they said they were planning on raising the child. I don't know that those discrepancies should keep them from being able to adopt but the social worker could address why it was treated differently, and then assess.
• Do you think your answers will give the agency a good sense of whether you’re likely to be a good parent? Explain.
There are so many different types of parents in the world and so many children that have ended up being incredible people or just the opposite. It's so difficult to say what a good parent is other than loving their child unconditionally and it's hard to get that from a written survey. The series of questions that I really liked that they asked were the ones involving 'cross cultural' elements. I think an adoptive parents answer to this would be important to hear. The questions about parenting philosophy are crucial too, it's important to know wether the adoptive parents have a plan in place for the best way they see fit to raise a child, so that there is some readiness for what could be ahead. Also, for the social worker to decide if they are ready, or able to give a child any type of structure in the future.
• Imagine: you really want a child and have faced years of infertility. This home study and your social worker stand between you and your child. How do you feel about having to answer these questions and having to go through this process? Are you learning anything new/different about the adoptive parent’s perspective on adoption?
I must be incredibly nerve-wracking. Also, if you had gone through years of not being able to have a child and wanting one very much, I would almost feel that it was unfair. Unfair in that there are unfit people parenting children all over, that don't treat their children well or don't do anything for their kids at all. It must be frustrating to see that around you and yet still have to prove that you have the potential to be fit as a parent. Or what if your background isn't ideal. Maybe you have issues with your own parents. How will your answers to those questions affect your ability to adopt? You probably don't want to lie, but what if the people in the adoption process that are allowing you to adopt don't think you're able to be a good parent but you know that you will/could be? How do you answer the questions in a way that is truthful AND shows all of the potential you possess? Despite all of the above, I think it's worth going through this to adopt a child. I also think it's great that social workers/adoption agencies take all of these questions into consideration for the safety and well-being of the adopted children. As long as other components are involved in the adoption process, it seems to be thorough and reasoned.
• How long do you think it would take you to answer all these questions, if you were to take this seriously? Does this seem like too much time/too little time/just the right amount of time, given the importance of the decision to adopt a child?
If I were answering them with a spouse I think that some of the questions alone would take a few hours-days to discuss with one another and decide, how are we going to handle this or are we planning any significant changes in the future? Bringing a child into the equation means your decisions are going to affect that person for the rest of their lives. The smallest thing could have an impact, I think anyone (so everyone) with parents knows that in one way or another. It's important to carefully consider all of the questions with the other person, so I think it could potentially take days to answer each one thoroughly enough.
• Should non-adoptive parents have to go through a similar reflection process? It's hard to say whether or not non-adoptive parents should have to go through this... I guess there are some situations where the mother or father wouldn't be able to answer the questions very well depending on their background; maybe they aren't as well off or educated as people trying to go through the adoption process and that would make it hard to judge. Also, what would the outcome be if they weren't even close to the ideal parents? Would their children be taken away? Does not being able to answer these questions the 'right' way mean that they wouldn't have the potential to love their kids or provide for them?
Overall I'll say once again that I think it's good that the adoption process is thorough, for the sake of the adopted child ending up in a home with parents who are able to give them all the love in the world. Even if it is difficult for the people adopting, I hope that in the end it is worth it to them.
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